Life in a Small Town
by Brenda Shaffer-Shiring
Summary: When Janeway and Chakotay decide to reveal their relationship to the crew, they're stunned by their shipmates' reactions. Mild language, very mild adult content.


TITLE: Life in a Small Town  
AUTHOR: Brenda Shaffer-Shiring  
SERIES: Star Trek: Voy  
CODES: J/C AU  
PART: 1/1  
RATING: PG, mild language, mild adult content  
DISCLAIMER: Paramount owns these folks, but sometimes I wish they'd give 'em more thought than they usually do.  
SUMMARY: When Janeway and Chakotay decide to reveal their relationship to the crew, they're stunned by their shipmates' reactions.  
NOTE: After posting my angsty J/C "The Most Deathless Love," I got a couple of requests for a happy story about the couple. Well, I'm not so sanguine about the pairing as I was at one point, so it's been a while since I came up with any ideas for a happy J/C. That's why I decided to post a slightly older work of mine. It's never been posted anywhere before, though it did appear in the Orion Press fanzine WAYFARERS 4.  
  
  
  
Life in a Small Town  
by Brenda Shaffer-Shiring  
  
  
Content, Kathryn Janeway snuggled into the strong body of her lover. Oh yes, this was right. So right, so perfect.  
  
She could not think, now, why she had deprived herself so long of this joy, this comfort, this contentment, but she sent a silent prayer of thanks to the God in whom she did not believe, that it had still been available when she was ready to accept it. Chakotay had proven to be more patient and focused in his desires than she would have thought a man could be; even at that late date, he'd been every bit as ready to welcome her as she'd been to turn to him. They had been lovers ever since, and, despite the trials and hardships of life on Voyager, it had been one of the happiest times of her life.  
  
Chakotay trailed fingertips down her spine, a pleasant little murmur rumbling in his throat. Such a fine, delicate touch, for such big hands. Somehow, she had never expected that, any more than she had expected the warmth of his skin, the mischief of his tongue. She remembered quite clearly when she had learned of that last, and the memory brought a blush to her cheeks and a smile to her lips.  
  
What a lover he was! Oh, there was nothing extraordinary to his technique, perhaps, but the concentration, the intensity, with which he touched, caressed, aroused her were breath-stealing. When she lay with him, she had no doubt that, for that space of time, she was the only thing in his universe. It was a heady position.   
  
Nor was the bedroom the only place where he showed his devotion. He cooked for her as often as she, and his replicator rations, would allow; he posted cheerful, loving notes to her; he made such little presents to her (a flower, a souvenir of some planet or other, an extra cup of coffee) as she would accept. And he did all of this without being one bit less the friend he had always been to her: doing his best to cheer her when she was sad, laugh with her when she was happy, talk with her when she was in doubt.  
  
He would have done more, and more often, but for one thing: they had agreed to keep their relationship a secret from the crew, so he could do nothing that would jeopardize that. Though she might have been willing to risk her heart, she hadn't been willing to risk the trust or confidence of her crew.  
  
He had made that agreement most reluctantly, she knew. She still remembered their discussion, after they'd made love that first night. When she'd set the condition, he had actually looked shocked.  
  
**********  
  
"I think you're being overcautious, Kathryn," he protested. "I don't think this crew expects you to spend the rest of the voyage alone."  
  
"Not spending the voyage alone is one thing; spending it with one of my officers is another," she answered quietly, remembering the Doctor's opinions on that point, back at the beginning of that foolish little business with Michael Sullivan. He'd had no objections to her pairing with a holographic character -- after all, he'd said, no one expected her not to have needs, and of course she couldn't have a relationship with one of her own officers! "Oh, yes," she said, raising a hand to cut off Chakotay's protest, "I know Starfleet doesn't have any regulations against fraternization. But you know as well as I do that it's different when it comes to the captain -- especially when it's the captain and her first officer. Regulations or no regulations, there's no precedent that would make them accept that."  
  
"Are you sorry we did it at all?" he said softly, looking as down as she'd ever seen him.  
  
His pain melted her heart, though not her resolution. "This?" Her gesture took in the bed, their nudity. "Of course not. If I had any regrets, it would only be for taking so long to let you know how I feel about you." Gently she cupped his face. "But Chakotay, we really can't go public with this. *I* really can't. Can't you see that?"  
  
Besides the now-muted pain there was something else in the soft brown eyes she looked into, something that said he was not entirely convinced by her reasoning. But after a moment, he inclined his head slowly, in acceptance. "If that's what you want," he said.  
  
**********  
  
And so they'd been discreet in their loving. There'd been no flirting in company, nor any words or gestures of affection that others might note. She seldom sat with him at mealtime, and neither accepted for nor invited to "home-"cooked meals unless they could claim some pretext for a business meeting. They attended after-hours functions separately, and scheduled different shore leaves.  
  
But at night, when the corridors were deserted....they'd worked out a signal that translated roughly to //tonight?//, so that even in company one might ask the other if he or she was available for later rendezvous. No matter which raised the question, the answer was usually "yes."  
  
Kathryn breathed in deeply, enjoying the musky, masculine scent of her lover, hearing his own inhalation over her head. She lay her cheek against his chest, felt the strong, steady thump of his heart in her very bones. Oh, she could lie like this all night, and into the next day -- except, of course, that she couldn't.  
  
Or could she?  
  
Nonsense. The crew would never accept this relationship.  
  
//Or would they?// She blinked, startled, at the new thought. Might it be possible--?  
  
//Hmm...maybe.// Both of them had demonstrated their caliber as officers, and as people, over years now. For the most part, the crew liked her and trusted her; again for the most part, they felt the same way about him. So initial distrust wasn't a factor. The crew had accepted that they were friends, even close friends. So it wasn't as if they expected her to isolate herself totally, or even to keep aloof from her first officer simply because he was a good-looking man.  
  
And now she could tell them that she and Chakotay being lovers really *didn't* affect their performance on the job. It had been months since he and she had first gotten together, after all. Months in which her feelings for him had deepened, as had his for her -- and months in which they'd faced their share of crises, and handled every one of them professionally. Oh, she wouldn't deny that her heart had been in her mouth, that day when he'd gotten caught in the middle of that hubbub on Velanis 2. And she wouldn't swear that his blood pressure hadn't spiked while she was enmeshed in that diplomatic situation on Mekarta 5. But, when she reviewed the logs, she believed she could honestly say that they had acted precisely as they would have had they never yielded to their love.  
  
Surely even the most determined skeptic (her mind involuntarily conjured Tuvok) should take that fact into account before doubting or condemning the two of them.  
  
Kathryn's heart rate accelerated as she considered, really considered, the possibility of telling her crew the truth about herself and Chakotay. The possibility of openly attending events with him, of spending the occasional night together, of sharing shore leaves -- hell, of simply walking down the corridor holding hands with him once in a while....  
  
Her heart knew what it wanted, and her mind could find no further reasons to object.  
  
She tilted her chin up, toward his face. "Chakotay," she murmured throatily, knowing he loved her particular capability for that pitch.  
  
He looked down at her, affection shining in those warm brown eyes. "Um-hmm?"  
  
"I've been thinking -- maybe it's time to tell the crew. About us."  
  
For sheer brilliance, the smile he gave her then would have rivaled any star.  
  
*****  
  
They had decided to tell those closest to each of them, first, then let the news spread across the ship as it would. But it was with some trepidation that Kathryn summoned her own dear friend, Tuvok, to her ready room. For all that she felt certain of the logic of her arguments, there was no denying that the whole situation had its roots in good old Human emotion, something with which Tuvok wasn't particularly on good terms. //Better try to stick to logic,// she told herself. //Oh, and stop pacing, for God's sake!// She took a seat on the couch, one hand unconsciously clutching a cushion.  
  
Tuvok entered, looking with long habit toward her desk. Only when he did not see her there did he turn and survey the office. It was with a faint look of surprise that he noted her location, and moved toward it. "You wanted to see me, Captain?"  
  
"Tuvok," she said, her throat going a little dry. "Have a seat." She indicated the nearest chair with her free hand, and he complied. Once settled, he met her eyes with his usual direct gaze.  
  
"Captain?"  
  
Kathryn Janeway had never been the sort of person to ease herself into a cold pool a centimeter at a time; she'd always dived right in and gotten it over with. She decided the same strategy should apply here. Drawing in a quick breath, she said (with what she thought was commendable calmness), "Tuvok, I think you should know that Commander Chakotay and I are romantically involved."  
  
"I had surmised as much."  
  
"I realize this must be a bit of a shock--" she started, cutting herself off as his words hit her. "*What* did you say?"  
  
"I had surmised as much," he repeated calmly.  
  
"How?"  
  
"Simple observation provided the necessary clues," he said blandly. "I deemed it wise not to broach the subject with you until you indicated you were prepared to discuss it. However, as you have raised the issue yourself, I assume that you are now prepared to conduct such a discussion."  
  
Still a little stunned, she murmured, "I suppose," and braced herself for an argument.  
  
But his next words were as surprising as his last. "I note that you have employed the transporter to facilitate several of your intimate encounters," he said, in a conversational tone. "While I realize this was probably done from a desire to protect your privacy from casual observers, I feel obligated to point out that intraship transport is energy-intensive and poses certain marginal risks to the traveler. In future, perhaps it would be best if you and the commander confined yourselves to more conventional means of travel."  
  
Kathryn shut her mouth with a snap, and sat there speechless for a moment. "That's your objection?" she finally managed. "Our use of intraship transport?" What about protocol? What about the good of the ship, the confidence of the crew?  
  
"That is my primary objection at this point in time, yes." He met her gaze without blinking. "Unless you feel I am neglecting other significant aspects of the matter."  
  
"I, ah -- no," she said hastily. "Never mind."  
  
*****  
  
Ah, well, Kathryn told herself, perhaps she should have expected her oldest friend to put together all the pieces of the puzzle that was her and Chakotay's clandestine relationship. After all, Tuvok did have superb deductive skills, and he knew her better than almost anyone on board did. And if anyone had discovered the truth before she was prepared to divulge it, she ought to be glad it was him, as there were few other individuals on whom she could rely to be completely discreet.  
  
Speaking of divulging the truth, there were several other people she and Chakotay had wanted to tell before their relationship became common knowledge. He had already agreed to speak to B'Elanna, Tom, and Neelix, whilst she was to pass on their confidences to Seven of Nine and Harry Kim. Since the former was currently occupied in Astrometrics, she decided to begin with the latter.  
  
"Harry," she said warmly as he entered the office. "Please have a seat."  
  
"Sure, Captain," he answered, with that endearing, ingenuous grin she expected he'd still have when he was ninety. "What's up?" With the comfortable ease of his youth, he dropped into the chair she indicated. "Do you have another project for me?"  
  
"No, no, Harry, nothing like that," she assured him. "This is a little more of a -- personal nature."  
  
"Oh. Okay," he said, sounding a little wary. Evidently, no matter her friendliness, Harry would never forget the difference in their ranks and stations. Inwardly, she sighed, but in many respects that was just as well.   
  
"Well..." Looking at that still-fresh face, she was uncertain how to continue. She finally decided that straightforwardness would be best. "You should probably know that Commander Chakotay and I are romantically involved."  
  
He didn't bat an eye. "And?"  
  
She looked at him. "Excuse me?"  
  
He looked a little cautious again, and perhaps a little confused as well. "You and the commander are involved, and --" He made a little "get on with it" gesture with one hand.  
  
As she had been with Tuvok, the captain once again felt bewildered. "It doesn't surprise you that we're involved?"  
  
"Well, no, ma'am," he said honestly. "Should it?"  
  
*****  
  
Kathryn was still a little shaken when she called Seven of Nine to her office. "You wished to see me, Captain?" the former Borg asked, crossing to the living area where her commanding officer waited.  
  
"Ah, yes, Seven, yes I did." Composing herself, Kathryn indicated the chair Harry had vacated, and Seven assumed the seat with her customary, if somewhat formal, grace. "There's going to be some gossip going around this ship over the next few weeks, and I wanted you to hear the truth from me, before matters get distorted."  
  
"Indeed." Seven looked interested. "Do these rumors involve developments in your romantic relationship with Commander Chakotay?"  
  
Janeway stared. //Not Seven too!// "Excuse me?" she managed finally.  
  
"I asked if the rumors will regard additional developments in your romantic relationship with the commander," Seven said, without missing a beat. "And to which aspect of that relationship you think they are likely to pertain. If you are referring to the rumor that you have secretly married, you need not disabuse me of that notion, as I am well aware that, given your separate shore leaves, you would have had no such opportunity in the last half-year. If you are referring to the rumor that you have conceived the commander's child, I have already informed various members of the crew that, given your knowledge of the biological sciences, it is unlikely you would neglect to take the necessary precautions against conception. If you are referring to the rumor that you and he are planning to desert the ship at your earliest opportunity, to my knowledge that rumor is intended for humorous effect, and is generally accepted as a patent, if moderately entertaining, falsehood. If you are referring--"  
  
Kathryn closed her mouth with an effort. "What the -- Seven, just how many rumors *are* there involving my relationship with the commander?"  
  
"I am personally acquainted with forty-seven," the ex-Borg stated calmly. "Do you wish me to supply an itemized list, so that you may address each of them in turn?"  
  
"Ah -- no," Kathryn said, trying to contain her shock. Bringing both hands up to rub her face, she muttered, "So much for being discreet."  
  
"On the contrary, Captain; the consensus among the crew is that you have been most admirably discreet. Indeed, your discretion has given rise to another rumor."  
  
"And that would be?"  
  
"That you were attempting to keep your relationship a secret."  
  
"Fancy that." Janeway shook her head.  
  
*****  
  
Apparently, Chakotay had met with much the same luck on his "rounds," as he told her when he joined her in the ready room for lunch.  
  
"So there I was," he said, palms open in the air before him, "waiting for a reaction, and B'Elanna just glared at me and said `About time you finally admitted it!' And then Tom started scrolling down a data padd and wanted to know if I remembered the exact date we got together!"  
  
"Scrolling down a data padd?" Her hand went to her mouth, involuntarily. "Oh, no! You don't suppose he was running a betting pool?"  
  
Chakotay shook his head, smiling faintly. "I didn't ask. I try never to ask questions when I really don't want the answers."  
  
Kathryn felt her lips turn up in answer to his smile. "And Neelix?"  
  
"Said that he'd been looking up recipes from Dorvan and the central United States for a month, so he'd know what to make for our 'true love' party."  
  
"Wait a minute." She held up her hand. "Our *what* party?"  
  
"True love. Apparently it's an old Talaxian custom to celebrate lovers." At her expression, he held up both hands in a "stop" gesture. "It's okay. I told him I didn't think you'd be interested."  
  
"Darned right I'm not! Wait a minute. You said he'd been looking up recipes for us for a month? He'd known about us for a *month*?"  
  
The corners of Chakotay's lips quirked higher. "At least."  
  
"So much for keeping things secret!" she snorted. "What do you suppose we did wrong? How do you suppose everyone figured it out so soon?"  
  
"I don't think we did anything wrong," he said thoughtfully. "I think we just forgot how well they know us by now. Not to mention just how small this ship is."  
  
She gave that theory some consideration. "I suppose."  
  
"Besides, Kathryn, we might not have told them anything new, but I know *I* learned something new today."  
  
"What?" she asked, puzzled.  
  
"Well, we thought the reason our relationship hadn't caused any problems with the crew was because they didn't know, right?" She nodded. "But now we know they *did* know. They probably knew all along." He ducked his head, brought it back up with an impish smile. "And it still didn't cause any problems, did it?"  
  
She felt her jaw drop as the revelation set in. "No," she said, at last. "It didn't."  
  
"And that means--"  
  
She rose from her seat and went to him, twining her arms around his neck. "No more secrets." It felt as if a great weight had slipped from her shoulders, leaving her light and free. "No more hiding."  
  
He wrapped his arms around her, kissing her tenderly. "And no more doubts?"  
  
"None." She smiled at him. "Join me at Sandrine's tonight, Chakotay?"  
  
"On one condition." He kissed her again. "This time, you're going to slow-dance with me. In the middle of the dance floor, where everyone can see."  
  
END  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Life in a Small Town 


End file.
